The power of networking

'It's not what you know, it's who you know.'

This phrase has been bandied around by well-meaning mentors of mine every since I started pulling pints at my mum's local pub for £5 an hour.

Many would argue against its validity - you'd be pushed to operate on a cat without the appropriate qualifications, or indeed to bake bread nowadays. However, my entire professional life has been living proof that this saying has grounds for truth.

No matter how many times I have laboured over a job application on LinkedIn or Indeed, or re-edited an email to a company, pleading for work, I have never found opportunities by these standard means of gaining employment. Instead, I have found work through word of mouth, by telling every single person that I meet who I am and what I do (more on the importance of this later), or because friends and exes have connected me with someone in need. Perhaps I've just been lucky in this way, but I'll back my argument with some examples.

A couple of weeks ago, when the flood that had rampaged our house had subsided and helpful neighbours were gathered in our kitchen, a man who lives opposite us whom I'd never met before asked me what I do. I answered somewhat shakily that I was a freelance writer. 'Oh,' he said, 'How interesting. I've got a budget for that. Let's go for lunch next week.'

To cut a long story short, this man who had used his jacuzzi pump to empty our living room of filthy flood water ended up taking me for lunch and offering me a retainer for a role in his business.

This is an extreme example of why meeting and talking to people is a powerful way to open up new opportunities. It does not always end this way, so I'll give some other examples of how networking can be beneficial both for you and others in unexpected ways.

Source: Unsplash

This week I went for a trial shift at a very highly regarded gastropub in south Somerset. I was to waitress for four hours on a Friday night and show the manager that I was capable before the job would be offered to me. Although I now find myself with regular (remote) writing clients, I had decided to get a part-time shift in hospitality so that I had the benefits of a social workplace, as well as earning some extra coins.

As soon as I walked into the pub I started kicking myself. Had I suffered an aneurysm? I had left hospitality because I already knew it, because I'd lost interest, and because the stress that it put on my body (late nights, inevitable post-work drinking, adrenaline coursing, mean customers), was no longer worth it now that I had an income from my writing.

I had to cut the manager short when he finished my shift with, 'I think you're great - ', and tell him that I had decided that I did not in fact want to be a waitress. He was surprisingly understanding, and said that if I was ever in dire straights I was to call him - he was always in need.

The evening had not been a waste of time at all, and I now have the contact of someone who has managed a great many established restaurants, and who now knows that I am capable and employable. We spoke at length about the industry, about food and food writing, and he ended up knowing people who might be in need of my writing services.

Which brings me back to my point about telling everyone who you meet who you are and what you do.

Telling people about yourself is not a self-aggrandising act, in fact people are often very interested to learn what you do. I am also not suggesting you start every conversation with, "Hello, I'm a [farmer/dentist/professional crocheter] looking for work, nice to meet you," but to simply mention what it is that you do at some point during an initial meeting, so that people mentally associate you with your skills and area of expertise.

If you truly feel uncomfortable with telling people what you do, then I recommend going to a networking event, whereby the sole purpose is to be in a room of people who are trying to be useful to one another.

Last week I went to a social led by a local writer's collective. I sat next to a twice-published author who runs a market garden farm and writes about the social and environmental benefits of farming, buying, and eating locally. He is looking to write his third book, and, given our overlapping interests, he invited me to visit his farm for a chat. The event was free, and the outcome was priceless.

Think of networking as expanding your web of every single person you meet and know. We all have a web that grows out from ourselves, and the more we join with others, the more connected and knitted together our web will be.

The likelihood is that most people know a relatively wide and varied web of people, from close friends to acquaintances, and with every person you meet you are increasing the possibility of being connected to their entire host of contacts as well. The same goes for the reverse; you may know people that will be of help to someone you meet.

During my third re-watch of Fleabag series two on an aeroplane recently, a particular scene has stuck with me. Fleabag says that people are shit, and Kristin Scott Thomas, a high-flying business woman, replies with admonishment: 'People are all we've got.'

Without negating the importance of experience and qualifications, I'd agree with Kristin and go one step further to say that human beings don't ultimately connect based on two-dimensional quantitative data; we connect based on merit, likability, and (in my opinion) emotion. A 2016 survey by LinkedIn found that 85% of people found their job via networking, which was especially true for "passive" people; those who weren't actively looking for work in the first place.

So tell people what you do, you might just get the dream opportunity that you didn't know you'd always wanted.